You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
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Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
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I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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