My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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