she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
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So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
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Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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