My room smells like vodka and shame
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
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Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
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I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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