she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
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I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
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Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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