My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize