he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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