i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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