if only i could text you this smell
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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