I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize