I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
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Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
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Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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