his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize