I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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