just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize