I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
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having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
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Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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