she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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