My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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