ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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