Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's shark week go big or go home
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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