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Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
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