i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize