we have pet lesbian snakes
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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