Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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