I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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