it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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