i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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