I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize