This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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