Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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