Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize