Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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