:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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