Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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