life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize