There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i believe in u and ur pee
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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