Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize