if you like me you must not know who I am
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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