she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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