Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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