i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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