i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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