I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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