That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
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You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
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He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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