so let's talk penis.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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