Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize