Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize