paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize