it was like fucking gandolphs beard
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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