then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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