She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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